The Most Prolific Serial Killers: American Edition

Well, hello there.

That's how happy I am to see you on this beautiful New Year's Day.

This one time I decided to spare you the elaborate introduction since the theme of this post is pretty simple. Its title is pretty much self-explanatory, isn't it? Today we're about to explore the riveting lore of the most prolific serial killers that have ever had the pleasure to walk on the American land, and this land, this curious American land seems to abound with homicidal freaks boasting impressive murder counts.

There's something about America that makes it a breeding ground for despicable acts of violence. Something in the air, perhaps? The rampant capitalism ruthlessly trampling the middle class and the poor? Reptilians? Kevin Spacey? Who knows. 

Probably Kevin Spacey.

My theory is that it's the numbers combined with stupendous amounts of space. If you happen to live in a country sprawling out far and wide, with three hundred million people trying to live their little lives all around you, some weird ideas might spring to life in your brain. So much space to just dump the body without anyone knowing, so many people around you, all of them so, so, so replaceable... 

Also, statistically speaking, among the staggering number of three hundred million people there ought to be a few loose screws. A few rats in the attic, some bats in the belfry... and probably plenty of skinsuits fully made of dead prostitutes. 

It's just simple statistics. 

1) Gary Ridgway

Also known as the Green River Killer, Ridgway holds the American record for the highest murder count with 49 proven murders, however, he is believed to have committed twice as many. 

Doesn't really look that deadly, does he? 

That average uncle Joe-looking freak murdered women and girls, many of them being sex workers or struggling with other serious problems. He would strangle them, with his bare hands or with the use of ligatures; then he would dump the body in a forest to... well, return to them later to do naughty things I don't want to speak of in detail. 

He was sentenced to life without parole.

What was his deal, you may ask? His father, a bus driver, used to complain about sex workers swarming the streets. 

Be careful what you tell your kids. They might hold on to whatever you've told them and grow up into bloodthirsty psychopaths.

2) Donald Harvey

Who is your inspiration in life? Your mom? Pope Francis? Robert Lewandowski? DJ Khaled? 

Well, Donnie there decided to draw inspiration from Josef Mengele himself. Tough luck.

The self-proclaimed "Angel of Death", Donald Harvey, worked as an orderly in a hospital. 

Cyanide and arsenic were among his favourite means of murder, but apart from that he would also suffocate his victims or disconnect them from life support. He claimed to "put his victims out of their misery" purely out of empathy, however, later his newfound power started going into his head. Soon, he stopped limiting himself to the terminally ill. He poisoned two of his neighbours and also his life partner when he suspected him of infidelity.

I'm starting to see a pattern here. The more average and unassuming they look, the more messed in the head they are.

He boasted he murdered 87 people; he was convicted for 28.

He had been serving a life sentence in prison before he was found severely beaten in his cell. His murderer remains unknown. My guess is the authorities didn't try that hard to find the culprit. 

And who can blame them?

3) John Wayne Gacy

This one is the reason why we are deathly afraid of clowns.

He seems to be a bit peeved.

Why? Because this guy literally worked as a clown. Let me reiterate: he was a murderous C L O W N.

The Killer Clown (that's how the media dubbed him) would lure young boys into his house where he would proceed with raping, torturing and murdering them. The bodies of his victims then would rot in the crawl space of his house for years before the police caught wind of Gacy's iniquities. 

I can't be the only one who instantly thought of Pennywise.

He was convicted of 33 murders. After having spent 14 years on death row, he was executed by lethal injection.

If that's not good riddance, then I don't know what is, but one got to admire the way his execrable deeds have influenced our pop culture.

That's enough murders for today. Next time we'll delve into the world of British record-holders.

Sweet dreams!